“Don’t be boring!”
“Do you actually enjoy yourself and if so, how?!”
“Why are you doing this to yourself?”
These are amongst a few of the things that I have heard when people have found out that I don’t drink alcoholic drinks anymore, both at university and during my working life. Some people view it with curiosity, some with anger and some with slight envy for being able to do it without it hindering me in any way, shape or form.
With the new university academic year having just started and New Year less than two months away, I felt this would be a worthwhile blog for those who are considering giving up alcohol. This blog covers the experiences I have had during the journey of becoming sober whilst at university, and how I feel about it to this day. This is in the hope of advising anyone who has been thinking about making the change and helping to explain what they may encounter if they do cut out the booze.
Now a disclaimer before I continue: this is by no means me judging anyone for drinking alcohol! You’re free to do whatever you want and is just me sharing my experiences as I went through the process. I don’t think anything less of people who consume alcohol, or otherwise, for whatever reason they choose.
How did it come about?
Before I started this lifestyle change, I was a student that was going out two or three times a week, enjoying myself, drinking what would be judged as excessive amounts at times, spending a fair amount of money but most importantly, I was having great fun with it all (apart from the occasional vicious hangover I’d get). So what made me go from that to completely stop drinking? Initially, I was planning on only stopping for a month as I was preparing for the 2014 edition of Tough Guy, with me wanting to concentrate on my my training.
Well, that’s what I thought but during that month, things changed for me as did my mindset towards alcohol. I had a few socials planned during that month so continued to go out but only drank soft drinks, and it was during these nights out that I noticed a few things about my experiences. Firstly, my tolerance for drunk people was non-existent. This was due to me being sober and so much more aware of everything going on so I noticed all the knocks, pushes, bumps and general silly and sometimes idiotic behaviour of some people once they’ve had a drink. Secondly and most likely due to the increased awareness, I was fully awake to the fact that I a) couldn’t dance and b) was very self conscious of making an idiot of myself due to this fact. (Though some would say, that’s still the case!) Thirdly and finally, and probably the most important thing for me, was my severe inability to have the social confidence to talk to new people, whether this be in a house party/predrinks scenario or in a bar/nightclub.
It was making these realisations that influenced me to take the decision to extend my sobriety for more than the month I had initially decided. The principle of this was to force myself into social interactions sober so that I could build my own social confidence to converse with things called “humans” without any awkwardness, become tolerant of those around me and get comfortable with my dancing moves, or lack of! Ultimately, it boiled down to me having a reliance on alcohol to enjoy myself, I knew no better and it was this that I didn’t like.
How did I do it and how long did it take?
Put simply, I just went out. Even though this was way out of my comfort zone and was initially an ordeal that I didn’t particularly enjoy, I persevered as I was determined to improve myself and no longer be reliant on the “Dutch courage” I was hiding behind. There was no other way that I could have tackled the issue aside from head on.
So that’s what I did. I continued to go out on bar crawls, attend predrinks, nights out and the like and get myself in around new people, nightclubs and situations I tended to encounter only once I’d had something to drink until I started to used to it all, opened up and really started to enjoy myself. However, for this to actually happen it took me around 6 months.
If it took 6 months to get settled, how did it go initially?
Not very well, to be honest with you. I was awkward, I felt uneasy, I was sometimes a bit stiff when I was out by just standing there. Overall, It wasn’t a pleasant experience in the slightest. As I said though, I stuck to it and evening by evening, event by event, things got easier. The more I stepped out of my comfort zone, the more comfortable I got in certain situations. I was able to ignore the small things I was hyper aware to, able to actually talk to knew people whilst also relaxing and letting myself just enjoy myself.
Question: can you tell out of these photos, which one I was sober in and which I was drinking in? Answer will be at the end.
How did others react?
As well as having the internal battle of dealing with the issues that I’d highlighted about myself, another challenge that I faced was the reaction that I received from those around me. With it being university and the culture being aimed towards drinking, the usual reaction I had was bewilderment, accompanied by a lot of questions.
People were confused as to why I would make such a decision at university, assumed that straight away I’d become boring and that I would come to regret this decision. Some people were quite accepting of the situation whereas others were very aggressive and for some reason, somewhat suspicious of my actions. There were plenty of people who did try and peer pressure me into reversing your decision, even though it doesn’t effect them.
To get around this criticism, I reminded myself that this self improvement was for me and not for them.
Have I drank since?
Actually, I have. This happened across three occasions over the course of a week upon finishing university. Why you may ask? This was a mixture of peer pressure from my friends, wanting to see what I was like drunk that hadn’t previously, and for me to experiment with drinking again after getting so comfortable with being sober.
And the results of these experiments… Yes, I did enjoy myself and I won’t deny that. However, I didn’t feel that the experience was improved by the fact that alcohol was added into the mix. I was exactly the same except I was aware of how much more I was spending and very wary of my intoxication levels, often overthinking whether it was affecting my stability, speech or how I was acting.
Conclusion of these experiments then? I’m going to keep things alcohol free.
Where am I now with it? Ever been tempted to drink again?
Since I tried my little trial, as of the day that I published this blog, it’s been over 3 years, 3 months and I’ve never really looked back since. In the first year or so afterwards, I was tempted to drink again sporadically when I encountered the smells of the drinks that I used to have but I feel that was due to habit and had no real intentions. Since that first year, I’ve never been tempted. Though I have wondered what people would think if I surprised them and out of the blue, “got on it”.
I’ve also become entirely comfortable with any night out, often staying up until the early hours of the morning enjoying myself; I’ve headed to festivals solo and danced the night away at full 11 hour raves in Europe. The later two has meant that I’ve become tolerant of those that use substances a little stronger than alcohol to enjoy themselves…
Answer the above question:
Can't really tell the difference, can you?
Benefits
I’m sure you’re wondering what benefits I have gained from making such a large lifestyle change, especially if you’ve been wondering about making the change yourself. Well, let me answer your question right now:
More tolerant of people
One of the main things that I have gained since making this change is being more tolerant of people in all scenarios. The major thing is the pushing and shoving that occurs during a night out in a tightly packed nightclub or bar. Mostly, people who have had a drink either don’t notice this or take offence to it and often can be in the start of an altercation. For me, it became highly irritating until I became desensitised to it all again.
Become more comfortable
Eventually, and I emphasise eventually, I was able to become comfortable with myself and wasn’t as overwhelmed by the self awareness that I gained. This refers to the social confidence, which is the next point covered but mainly refers to my ability to let loose, not be uptight and bust some moves on the dance floor.
I can’t quite put my finger on why this happened but it seemed that it was something that I noticed came out of all the other improvements. Due to this though, I feel I was able to enjoy my evenings out just as much as I had done previously when under the influence of alcohol.
Better social confidence
This was the biggest thing I liked about the personal self improvement that came from all of this. From being unable to converse with new people, sometimes those that I already knew, forcing myself into social interactions meant that I had to start building my social confidence. In turn, this helped me get used to new social situations and become more comfortable with it, as the only way for expand your comfort zone is to push yourself out of it.
Now I realise for some, this would be their worst nightmare and for me, initially I hated the experience for around 6 months before I started relax and enjoy myself. Though I set it as a goal and wanted to improve myself and felt that the only way to do was to dive straight into the deep end. I really didn’t want to rely on alcohol to just be able to talk to people and enjoy myself. I’ve managed to come out the other side and I can tell you, I’m thoroughly enjoying myself!
Feeling better in myself
Hangovers. Who honestly likes a hangover?! The headaches, the tiredness, the nausea, the racing heart and everything else that you may experience are never nice and is often the catalyst for those famous words, “That’s it, I’m never drinking again!”. Being tee total, that’s the first thing that you lose and it’s great! (As long as you can handle the envious comments from those struggling with one, that is.) So not only have you enjoyed your evening, it doesn’t ruin your next day which means you can carry on the life you usually lead. If you’re nice enough too, you can go and get your drunk friends their hangover cures and earn some brownie points!
Alongside this I felt that as time went on, I started to get more energy, felt healthier and my body was thanking me for halting the influx of alcoholic beverages. This may be partly down to the fact that I was eating better (less end of night takeaways and hangover food), able to train more frequently (lack of hangovers hindering the next day) and more conscious about the way that I was looking after my body as well not putting into it what is essentially a poison.
More money
I feel this one is a little obvious. Alcohol, even when drinking at student bars and nights, is as cheap as the soft drinks on offer. When you tie this in with the fact that you drink less frequently as well, it makes your nights a lot cheaper! This meant that a night out for me would be the cost of entry plus a maximum or £2.50 to £5 for my usual fruit juice and Red Bull, the latter if I’m feeling tired. Also before you say anything, those aren’t mixed together!
There we have it then, how I became tee total, why I made the decision and my experiences of following through with my decision. I hope that you enjoyed the read and found it useful, whether it be you being on the fence or this blog has planted the seed. If you have any questions about this topic or want any advice be sure to drop a comment, find me on my social media pages or fire over an email.
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